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Premarital Counseling

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This is a 7-week course, designed to help seriously dating and engaged couples get the tools that they need to become equipped for a thriving and intimately connected marriage.

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You will be working through this course together with your mentor and your BF/GF/fiancé.

Timeless Biblical truths meet cutting-edge relationship science - woven throughout the entire course.

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You can reduce your divorce rate by 31% and change the course of your marriage forever!

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Gain confidence that you have the tools, had the essential conversations, and obtained the counsel that you needed to feel ready for this next chapter in your life.

Course Content

 

Communication

  • How to ask for what you want/need

  • How to create a safe space for your partner

  • Two powerful tools to practice before you're married (and forever)

Dealing with Conflict

  • 5 rules for arguing well

  • What to do when your partner shuts down

  • A blueprint for when you disagree

  • How to win as a team

Dating and Boundaries

  • How far is too far? Setting boundaries as a dating/engaged couple

  • How to keep dating once you're married

  • Steps for making sure you have alone time (without your partner)

Sex and Intimacy

  • How the attitude around sex in your family growing up affects your relationship

  • Birth control, pornography, accountability, sexual abuse

  • Guided discussion for couples who have a sexual history

  • First night checklist

Finances

  • Learn what's beneath the surface of your money arguments 

  • Take a "Money and Your Values" assessment

  • Premarital money checklist

  • Bonus: Money and Your Marriage Workshop 2021 Replay Ticket

Friends and Family

  • Decide whether you want to repeat your family norms/traditions/routines

  • How to healthily maintain friendships outside the marriage

  • Set expectations for roles and responsibilities

Spiritual Foundation, Values, and Mission

  • Deep dive into each other's values, giftings, and calling

  • Write your Marriage Mission Statement 

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Our Process

Once you sign up we will have you begin the course which includes videos and workbook.

We recommend that you:

  1. Watch the videos in the "THINK About It" section on your own.

  2. Start the cards in the "TALK About It" section on your own.

  3. Meet with us for the "DO It" section and perhaps some of the "TALK About It" section.

Doing it this way provides an opportunity for you to have a guide that can pour into you during the exercises. You can also see us as an accountability partner and ask us questions that you have pertaining to that topic.

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"In the multitude of counselors, there is safety." - Proverbs 11:14

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Cost

Mentoring- $300. 

7 weekly couple sessions, 1 hour each

 

Course materials approx. $147 (we do not sell the course materials but will direct you to the appropriate source before we begin).

Order the curriculum online that we will be using with you. It includes workbooks, video lessons and more. We will tell you where to order once we confirm your appointment.

Other Resources

Books:

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Books to read now (as a premarital couple):

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If you have more time (or can listen to these books on long commutes, etc.), grab these books to read as well. If not before the wedding, definitely have them on your bookshelf to read after the wedding:

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Conversation starters:

Realizations Conversation card deck

Foundations Conversations card deck

Sexpectations Conversations card deck

others

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Podcast Episodes

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  • How much does the premarital counseling program cost?
    The premarital program is comprised of a seven-week curriculum. The in-person sessions are weekly and are 55 minutes long. The seven-session program costs $447 USD per couple. This includes the counseling and the video/worksheet curriculum ($147) that we do not sell but is your homework and the basis for the weekly sessions. Some clients ask their family for this as a part of their wedding gift. All of the clients who have paid for our services have told us they believed the cost was easily worth what they gained through the process – not just for the immediate relational benefits, but for the lifetime application of principles learned.
  • My friends are telling us we don't need counseling... why do you think counseling is necessary?
    A person does not build without first creating blueprints. You would weigh the pros and cons of where to place the laundry room, the guest bath and the master bedroom. After looking into each room carefully, you would probably make adjustments to what you previously thought was your dream home. Premarital counseling is like the process of drawing blueprints for building your relational home. After understanding yourself and your fiancé/fiancée better, you will likely find the need to make adjustments to certain areas of your relationship (communication style, financial goals, lifestyle habits, etc.). The counseling process will show you aspects about yourself and each other of which you were previously unaware.
  • Time commitment / How much out of session time will this require?
    You will never leave the session wondering how to implement what you have learned. Each week we give specific, useful assignments to our couples to help them put the principles they have learned into practice- these in person appointments are about 1 hour each. Clients also spend about 2 and half hours watching the videos and completing worksheets in between sessions. The more effort you put into completing the assignments the more you will gain from them. Usually the assignments are not extremely time consuming and often fit easily into daily life/routine. We do not assign busy work; we will only give practical assignments that will benefit you now and in the future. We recommend keeping your assignments in a three-ring binder so you can refer back to them at a later time.
  • We're having trouble – can we address those issues?
    These sessions are interactive, not lectures. We will work with you and teach you how to work together in various areas. If you are having trouble in your relationship, we will address those issues within the time allotted or recommend additional sessions. We want you to be successful in life and we will help you work through your relational difficulties.
  • What do we need to bring with us?
    We recommend bringing a 1 inch 3 ring binder filled with paper to keep session notes and assignments organized. We also recommend purchasing tab dividers for your binder (7 tabs, one for each session/week). You should bring this binder, along with your completed assignments, to every session. You may also elect to keep your notes digitally on the electronic method of your choice. You will need to be able to access completed assignments in session.
  • Do you use Biblical principles?
    Our curriculum is based on Biblical principles. We believe that the institution of marriage was created by God to glorify God. Since He created it, we believe that no one knows how to make marriages successful better than He. He shows us how to have successful marriages in His Word. We assist by making God's principles for marriage applicable for your relationship.
  • I'm having doubts about our relationship – should we still come?
    Absolutely! We have worked with a number of couples who were having doubts about their relationships. Several were able to work through their situations and are enjoying healthy relationships. Others decided that it would be best to part ways. It is so much better to explore your doubts before marriage as they will not likely cease after you marry until they are worked through or resolved. The more you know about yourself and your potential spouse before you marry, the easier your transition into marriage will be.
  • My fiancée doesn't want to come. How can I convince him (or her)?
    It is not uncommon to be apprehensive about discussing personal issues with others. While discussing the topic of premarital counseling with your fiancée, find out why he or she is reluctant to engage in this process. If your fiancé/fiancée is ultimately unwilling to consider premarital counseling, this may provide insight into his or her willingness to address problems in your relationship and future marriage.
  • Are we too young to get married?
    Studies show that the divorce rate for people marrying at 21 or 22 years of age is 40%-50% higher than for people marrying at 25 years of age and 80% higher for than for people marrying at 28 years of age or older. This does not mean that everyone who marries before the age of 25 is doomed; but if you are younger than 25, it is strongly recommended that you and your fiancé/fiancée seek counsel, and be open to input, before deciding to marry.
  • We want to prepare for a healthy marriage and avoid problematic relational potholes! We’ve read and understand the above and we’re ready! How do we work with you?
    Once we receive your intake, we will be in touch with you and look forward to working with you! Again, if you have any questions which are not addressed here, please contact us!
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